Sam's Dear Diary
by Mystic Vixen
Summary: (Incomplete)What sam writes in her diary, when she gets the chance, when she was a Captian under General Hammond's command to now when she is a Lt. Colonel under General O'Neill's command.
1. Default Chapter

**A/n: Okay, you guys probably think I'm being silly or stupid now but here a series of Diary entries from Samwhen she first started working with Jack and General Hammond. Tell me what you think and if you think I should put up the second chapter. It's all ready written but I'm not sure what to do with it. Just yet. Well, enjoy and tell me what you think**

Dear Diary,

Today I met Colonel Jack O'Neill, well not to day seeing how right after the briefing we went on a mission. It was actually a few weeks ago that I met him. He's very....what's the word......interesting, I guess you could say. He like's women but he doesn't like scientists, like me. I told him eventually he would like me, maybe even understand what I say but I kind of dough the later.

Jack is tall, kind of cute and is well, a Colonel and my commanding officer. I can't have any relationship with him except for that of a friendship and business. Other than that, it is against regulations.

I also met Dr. Daniel Jackson. He's very intelligent and everything I thought he would be. The Colonel thinks we ( that being me and Daniel) will get along famously.

Well, I've got to go. General Hammond wants SG-1 in the briefing room right away.

Captain Samantha

**I know it's really short but That's all could think of. the second chapter is a little longer I think. Well, what did you think?**


	2. Dear Diary

**A/N: Okay, I got one review saying this story was cute so I'm putting up chapter two, Tell me if i should put up anouther chapter or if I should make a Jornal/Diary for one of the other characters**

Dear Diary,

A few hours ago, my father told me that he has cancer and is dieing. He's mad at me because I won't take his offer to become an astronaut. Oh boy, what I would give to be able to tell him that I travel threw a big circle called the Stargate and it takes me to other planets out of our solar system. That's farther than any astronaut has ever gone. I'm just afraid that he will die before I can make peace with him. I hate it when he's mad at me. When he's sick he always plays the strong soldier. He doesn't want me to see him losing a battle but only if he knew that it's all right to show it to me and maybe if he did I could help him get threw it and he wouldn't have too die.

Got to go now,

Captain Samantha

Tell me what you think


	3. Major

**Hey thanks for your reviews.**

Dear Diary,

I got promoted to Major!!!! (This happened about a month or so ago.)Sometimes I think it's weird how everyone is able to call me Major and not Captain. No one ever messes up and calls me Captian by accident. I guess it's just me, I don't know. Every day I find myself more drawn to the Colonel. Hey wait a minute, this is my diary, I can call him by his name if I want . So, I think I like Jack. You know like, like as in the four letter word that starts with an L and ends with and E. You know the word. I've been in love before but I think this may be something special. Something that I've never had before and thanks to regulations, never will. I can't fall in love with Jack. He's one of my commanding officers and it just wouldn't be right. Besides, I can't let my personal feelings get in the way of my job. If something was to happen to Jack and I had to make a decision that may kill him but would save the world and countless others, I don't want to hesitate. I wouldn't be able to hesitate but I guess, as Jack says; we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

I know I haven't written much but I've been busy. Let's see what all happened between the last time I wrote and now? Um, I was possessed by a Goaul'd, named Jolinar. Although she turned out to be a Tok'ra. A Goaul'd is a evil parasite and the Tok'ra are the good ones. Jolinar died saving my life and left me with her memories of the Tok'ra and feelings for Martoph. Sometimes I can't tell whose feelings are whose. It's so confusing!!!!!

SG 1 and I went to the Tok'ra home world and well, became prisoners because they didn't want to be our allies and they were afraid that if we were captured by a Goaul'd, they would force us to tell where the Tok'ra were and then the Tok'ra would be in trouble. To make matters worse my dad's cancer was growing worse and he almost died. General Hammond sent a SG team to extract me but that didn't quite work out. We later learned that one of the elders of the tok'ra, Salmac was dying. I told the Tok'ra of my father and hoped that they would let me bring him back there to be a new host for Salmac and thankfully my plan worked. So now my dad lives off world and comes back to see me every now and then. Well, I better go I think Jack's coming. He's been trying to get me to go fishing with him, seeing as how we have some vacation time.

Major Samantha

Tell me what you think


	4. Jack!

**A/N: Again thanks for the reviews. I wasn't going to update becuase i didn't know where to go with this but I finally came up with chapter four. I got a review that asked me to update and so I did and here it is.**

Dear Diary,

I am thinking about Jack almost all the time, now and it's driving me nuts!! I guess that's because this whole situation is nuts. I was trying to get some work done to day and all I could think about was Jack and how I wanted him to walk into my lab and talk to me and tell me how much he wants me to go fishing with him. Sometimes I feel sorry for him. All he wants is someone to go fishing with him and I don't see why Teal'c and Daniel won't go but then again their probably wondering why I won't go either. They probably know how much I want to be alone with Jack but my work always gets in the way. However, Jack thinks I'm just using it as an excuse because I hate fishing but Jack isn't here and hasn't been her for several weeks now. We were on a routine mission, you know to establish trade and explore other planets, when there was a meteor shower. We evacuated 2/3rds of the village that was there, Teal'c and I bearly made it out alive. Daniel had all ready gone threw with the villagers. However, Jack was with Laira looking for her son Garan while we were evacuating and never made it to the gate. A few hours later we dialed Edora and thankfully made contact but it wasn't going to be that easy. The last meteor, landed right on top of the gate and burred the gate and I think I can come up with a way to unbury the gate but I don't know how just yet. Teal'c wants to go himself and unbury it but General Hammond is unwilling to let him make that chance. In my opinion it's the only way but I'll eventually figure something out. Everyone, well it feels like every one it might only be Janet, knows how much

I miss him. I don't intend to show it but I can't help but fell upset but that isn't going to stop me from doing my job Wel, I better go work on how to get Jack out of that hole.

Major Samantha

Your probably tired of Sam talking about Jack but o well. Next chapter is going to be about Dainel I think. not sure yet. i could use some ideas.


	5. Shades of Grey

Dear Diary,

Jack Stole technology from the Tollan people! I mean this is Jack we're talking about here. I didn't think he was stupid

enough to steal from another planet but evidently he is. He blew up at General Hammond. He said something about the

Pentagon not giving us the back up that we requested. I have no idea what the heck that means. Daniel, Teal'c and I

drew straws to see who would go talk to Jack about his actions. Part of me wanted to talk to him and ask him why the

hell he was acting out but the other half is still mad at him for doing what he did to the Tollan. We are going to lose the

diplomacy between our too worlds because of Jack. Now, grant they won't give us Technology but I think they have a

good reason. A planet before we came along was given technology by the Tollan and they ended up blowing themselves

up. They are just reluctant to give out Technology. Maybe in time, they will give us the technology and we can give

them what they want from us which by that time would probably be to go away and leave them alone.

Anyway, Daniel lost the straw drawing so earlier he went and talked to Jack but according to Daniel it didn't go so well.

But, that doesn't matter anymore because Jack's gone. He went back to Edora to be with Laira and her son Garan. I'm

upset, yes about Jack leaving but there's nothing I can do about it. I want everything to be with him and for him to come

back an retire on Earth and then maybe when I'm not mad at him anymore, we could prosue a relationship but that is

imposable because when Jack went threw he didn't had GDO and so he can never come to Earth threw the Stargate. I

miss him.

We have a new leader of the SG-1 team. His name is Colonel Makepiece. Daniel tried to get me the position but it didn't

really work. General Hammond evidently felt it was best to go with someone hire than Major. Daniel was sweet for

trying. I need to thank him for trying. He such a nice guy, a little annoying at times, like when I'm trying to work but

he's one of my best friends and I don't know what I would do with out him or Teal'c right now. They've become like

brothers to me.

Well, we're due to embark on a mission in one hour. I better go get ready and find Daniel and Teal'c.

Major Samantha.


	6. OHH Sam Has a Diary?

_DEAR DIARY,_

_HEY, DANIEL HERE. I'VE KIND OF STOLEN SAM'S DIARY INORDER TO READ IT AND LET ME TELL YOU __THERE ARE SOME PRETTY GOOD THINGS IN HERE. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT SHE LIKED JACK SO MUCH OR _

_THAT SHE THOUGHT OF ME AND TEAL'C AS BROTHERS. I MEAN IT MAKES SCENCE, HER THINKING OF _

_ME AND TEAL'C AS BROTHERS. WE ARE AROUND EACHOTHER ALL DAY AND HAVE BEEN IN SEVERAL LIFE _

_THRETANING SITUATIONS BUT I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE SAM LIKES JACK. I WONDER IF JACK LIKES SAM. I _

_NEED TO ASK HIM NEXT TIME I SEE HIM. _

_OH, THAT'S RIGHT THE LAST THING THAT SAM WROTE ABOUT WAS JACK GOING TO ENDORA TO RETIRE. _

_WELL, THAT WAS ALL A SET UP. GENERAL HAMMOND HAD JACK GO UNDER COVER AND STOP THE OFF _

_WORLD ILLEGAL ACTONS OF THE NID. JACK CAME BACK AND......_

_I THOUGHT I HEARD SAM COMING. ANYWAY, COLONEL MAKEPIECE WAS THE MOLE FOR THE NID _

_GROUP TO SMUGLE STOLEN DEVISES FROM OTHER PLANETS AND I BELIEVE......._

Sorry about that, Diary. Daniel stole you away from my desk when I was in the mess hall. Let's see what was he

saying? (Reads above paragraph) Oh man this is not good. Daniel is going to Tell Jack that I like like him. You don't do

that to someone when they don't know if the other person likes them back or not. Okay, so I'm afraid of regection but

isn't everybody. Thankfully Jack was undercover and is back uin command of SG-1, where he should be. Makepiece got

cortmarshled and if you will excuase me I have to go find Daniel before he messes with my life!

A really ticked Major Samantha

Tell em what you think.


	7. He's no longer with us

**Dear Diary,**

**On our last mission, we lost Daniel. He was trying to save the people of P9Y-4C3 and he did but he is no longer **

**with us. Now, I want to say he's alive because when he died there was a white light and then he was gone. So **

**maybe he's alive but in a higher plan of existence or maybe what we saw was him being taken up to Heaven. I **

**don't know but either way he isn't coming back and I, as well as Jack, have to deal with it and move on. Jack, **

**Teal'c and I once thought we saw Daniel catch on fire and burn to death but it turned out that it was just a **

**psychic projection to make us think he had died. In reality Daniel had been taken prisoner and forced to tell **

**his captor what happened to his mate when she traveled to Earth back in the time of Babylon. In fact a lot of **

**things have happened to Daniel. **

**First he lost his wife, Sha're and his brother-in-law, Skaara to the Goa'uld. His wife became Apophis's mate, **

**and she had become a Goa'uld and had given birth to a child fathered by Apophis. Now, Goa'uld's aren't **

**suppose to mate because the child is given all the knowledge of the Goa'uld's before him/her. This child is **

**called a Harcesis and that's exactly what happened with Sha're and Apophis's child. For the longest time, **

**Daniel searched for Sha're and her child. Well, he found her all right but not in the way he wanted. On **

**Abydos, Daniel found Sha're in a tent. He went in and (The Goa'uld) tried to kill Daniel but Sha're sent him **

**a message threw the weapon. She told him to find the child and keep him safe. The only way to stop Sha're **

**from killing Daniel, Teal'c knew was to shoot her and so he did. He shot her with a single shot from his staff **

**weapon and it hit her in her chest and she died. **

**Another thing that happened was, Daniel switched bodies with an old man named, Machelo. He had invented a **

**devise that switched your soul or mind I guess. Well, Daniel almost died and we had to play, musical bodies. **

**I'm glad to say everyone but Machelo made it. Well, I wasn't glad that Machelo died but I didn't want Daniel to **

**die either and no he is gone but he knew getting into the whole traveling to other worlds and fighting bad guys **

**was dangerous when he got into the business. **

**Oh and there's this guy, Jonas. He kind of cute but can be annoying at times. He wants to be on SG-1 and **

**there is an open spot but Jack doesn't want anyone to replace Daniel right now. I'm guessing that's because he **

**doesn't want to admit that Daniel really is gone and by putting Jonas on the team, well that would mean that **

**we have to move on and Daniel isn't coming back. I think once General Hammond gets an order to put a **

**Russian on SG-1, Jack will let Jonas be on the team. We've been having problems lately with the Russians. **

**They want to be involved with the Stargate program but we really don't want them here. Jack probably wants **

**to go and blow Russia up or put a circular wall around the country, infest it with replicates and seal it off with **

**a dome roof. Well at least that's what he told me but I don't think General Hammond will let him. At least not **

**until the Russian's really get on our nerves. Got to Go, I was due in the briefing room five minutes ago. **

**Major Samantha**

**Tell me what you think. I think I'm going to end this around the beginning of the 8th scecne. I'm not sure. I'm kind of watching the episodes and gettting Ideas. Chapter five came from the episode Shades of Grey. That's on of my favoret episodes. Widow of Opportunity is my favoret but I can't use it becuase Sam doesn't remember any of it. I'm thinking about doing a Jack Journal so I can in cludde that episode. Tell me what you think anout that idea and the story**


	8. Surprise!

**A/N: I know I've taken forever on this and to tell you the truth I kind of forgot about it. I'm just going to do a quick run threw of season 6 just becuase I don't remember much of it that i think sma would write down except for what I did write. And if I don't stop writting now I'm going to tell y'all the whole story so read and enjoy.**

**Spoilers: (Season 6)Fallen, Abyss, Changling, Full Circle and (Season 7)Fragel Balance **

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Dear Diary, 

I'm sorry I haven't been able to write as much as I use to but things have been hectic around here lately.(Turns to the last entry to see what she wrote.) The last thing I wrote about was Daniel's death of radiation poisoning. It turns out that Daniel didn't actually die, just ascended to a higher plan of existents. This may sound strange but I think Jack and Teal'c 'saw' Daniel when he was ascended. For instants when the Colonel was sick and I mean deathly sick, we all thought he was going to die. The Tok'ra had a symbiote that was willing to heal jack's sickness and then leave once another host was found. But there was a problem. The symbiote Kan, went to Baal's fortress and tried to brake out one of Baal's servents. Jack was a captured and tortured by Baal himself. Jack said that when he was in the cell he saw Daniel come to him and said that he could help him ascend. I may not have shown it to Jonas of Teal'c but I was as scared as hell when that happened. I thought I had lost Jack forever but we got him back just like we always do.

Now Teal'c's experience was interesting. He and Batack go it to a fight or something and Bratack's symbiote died. Teal'c managed to share his symbiote, or junior as Jack calls it, for three days. During these three days Teal'c later told all of us, that he had two dreams. In one dream he was a human from earth, whose friend, Bratak needed kidney and so Teal'c was going to give him one of his kidneys so that Bratak may live. Then in the other dream he was back in the SGC but he didn't have his symbiote and would fall over and die. Teal'c said that in this dream Daniel came to him and told him that everything would be all right. He asked Daniel something along the lines of why have you left me and Daniel replied," I haven't left your side Teal'c and I never will. That's a promise."

That reminds me of how God is always watching over us, taking care of his children in whatever way he needs to. Yeah sure some times were in an abyss with Baal whose torturing us for information we know nothing about or stranded on a planet dying with your best friend, but God is always with us and is always good. He will love us no matter what we do or what happens to us. I remembered that when I finally saw Daniel on the last Abydos mission. He helped us find the eye of Ra and I remember that when I saw him I was so happy to know that he was alive.

He tried to save Abydos but couldn't and he hopes that one day he can find out why and what happened that made him descend after the Abydos mission. He's slowly remembering everything now, with the exception of the ascension deal, but except for that he's the same ol' Daniel. He still drinks coffee to keep him up at night so he can finish his work all in one day. He says that there are not enough hours in the day to do everything he has to do.Boy don't I know what he means.

I'm surprised that the Colonel isn't doing the same thing after Loki beamed him up and made a clone of him while he was asleep. I know I would if some asguard that I had never heard of stole me and made an exact duplicate of me. Anyway, I've got to go. I'll tell you more about the adventures I had later but I've got a mission with Prometheus in half an hour and I want to make sure Jack knows I'm leaving.

Major Samantha Carter

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**A/N: I hope you liked it and there are more but they will be from season 7 unless anyone has ideas on season 6. **


	9. Giving up

**Spoilers: Grace and Chimera. Don't read any further if you haven't seen those eps from sesaon 7**

* * *

Dear Diary,

I'm giving up on Jack and all hope that we will ever be together like I wish we could. About a month ago I was trapped on Prometheus and I realized that I wasn't happy. I mean I love what I do for my job but I was only content in my love life because I was waiting for Jack. Now, I see that I probably won't ever be with Jack because of the stupid regs and have to move on.

That would be why I'm seeing someone now. His name is Pete Shannahan and he's a really nice guy, whose a cop. So there's something we have in common, we both fight bad guys although the bad guys that I fight take hosts, have glowing eyes and try to take over the galaxy. 

About a week ago Daniel's ex-girlfriend or what ever she was to him, Sara, who was possessed by Osiris, came to earth. To be more specific she came to Daniel's house and while he was asleep she probed his dreams because she wanted him to translate a tablet that told of where the lost city was. In the end Daniel figured it out and didn't tell her anything but we, Sg-1, got into a fire fight with Osiris.

Earlier that day Pete and I got into a fight and come to find out he had been following me all day. He ended up at the fire fight with Osiris and got shot by something, I'm not sure what. It could have been pieces of the truck that blew up but anyway I promised him that if he made it I would tell him everything. So now he knows about the Stargate program and that my bad guys either try to take over the galaxy by taking hosts or try to take over the galaxy by eating every thing and adapting to our defenses.

I just hope that nothing happens to him now that he knows what I do. I know I sound like a super hero who's afraid that her boyfriend will be killed by the bad guys and well that's how I feel. I mean every other man that has known about the Stargate and has loved me has died. Although the man I love isn't dead, he's just out of reach so he may as well be dead where this matter is concerned. I just don't want anything to happen to Pete because I think I love him.

Major Samantha Carter

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**A/N: It may seem like I'm just retelling the eps that are in these chapters and in a way I am but I have to in order to get Sam's feelings out. I mean that's how I'd write a diary if I had one. Anyway tell me what you think. I know I'm blazing threw 6&7 but I really want to get to 8 so that's why I'm going so fast. I may stop with 8 and not carry on to sesaon 9. I'm not sure as of yet. So R&R**


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